After Eighteen Years

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This is an imaginary story. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 

It was around the end of April 2021. The second wave of the chinese communist corona virus has hit India very badly. So many people were getting infected every day. So many people were dying every day. So many people were gasping for breath and were running from pillar to post in search of oxygen cylinders. It was a horrible scenario. But India being an "Incredible" country was still busy in religious festivals and election rallies. Some things will never change in India.

Anyways Rahul was lying on his bed and listening to Osho Rajneesh's speeches in Youtube. It was around midnight. Suddenly he received a notification message on Facebook. He opened his Facebook account and was greatly surprised to see that he has got a friend request from his first girlfriend. He had a relationship with her from 2001 to 2003. She is now married to someone else and is now the mother of a cute little boy. She now stays in U.S.A. with her family. Rahul immediately accepted her friend request. Then she sent the following message in Facebook Messenger :

She : Hi. How are you? How are your parents? Hope everyone is in the best of health in these troubled times. 

Rahul : Hello. So far so good. I am fine. My parents are fine too. How are you? How are your parents? How is your hubby? How is your son?

She : Thanks for asking. My parents are fine. My hubby and son are also fine. 

Rahul : Good to hear that. And good to hear from you after eighteen years. 

She : Hmmmm...

Rahul : My best friend recently passed away due to corona. 

She : May His soul rest in peace. 

Rahul : Four people in my office have been infected with corona. Many people in our locality have been infected. Horrible times have come. 

She : Really, horrible times. Are you going to office?

Rahul : No, I have taken a three month holiday. I am staying at home only. Not going out at all. 

She : Good. Please be safe. Why have you shaved off your head? 

Rahul : Well, I thought that since I would stay at home for the next three months therefore I might as well shave off my head. At the end of three months, if I am still alive, then I would have a fresh growth of hair. 

She : Okies...

Rahul : Even last year during the lockdown I had shaved off my head. 

She : Okies...

Rahul : From now on, if I remain alive, then I have decided to shave off my head every summer. The head feels so light and its a heavenly feeling to caress one's hand over one's shaved head. 

She : Ok.

Rahul : One thing I must tell you. Your son is just too cute. And his eyes are just like yours. 

She : Thanks. 

Rahul : Did you miss me in the last eighteen years? 

She : No

Rahul : Ok. Anyways it was nice talking to you after such a long time. Take care. Bye...

She : Bye...

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Bada Din

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I was a huge fan of Anjan Dutta ever since his first music album SHUNTEY KI CHAO had released in the year 1994. I used to listen to all his audio cassettes every single day. So when I got the news that he was directing a hindi film then I was really excited. I was really looking forward to this film. I knew from my heart that this film would be totally different from other mainstream films of Bollywood. 

BADA DIN released on 23rd January 1998. I was then sixteen years old. The songs of the film had released earlier. The music was by Jatin Lalit and the songs were peppy and had a feel good factor in them. The lyrics were written by Javed Akhtar. The song "Meri Aankhon Mein" was already a hit. The song "Suno Zara" was hauntingly beautiful. The song "Kehta Hai Yeh Safar" was very nice. It had a beautiful line - "Dekhu jaha jau jaha mil jayeghi waha har cheez ki dukaan, Sirf kahi miltaa nahi zazbaat ka nishaa". The song "Betaab Hum Awaara Hum Hai" had a rock song feel to it. The song "Behoshi Tan Man Mein" was seductive. The song "Naa Koi Tera" was very catchy. The weakest song in the album was "Oonche Neeche Parbaton Ke". 

The movie was produced by Gramco Films which was a division of HMV. The movie starred Shabana Azmi, Marc Robinson and Tara Deshpande. Tara had already made a name for herself with the film "Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin" which had released in 1996. This film also had Alok Nath and Irfan Khan. In those days Irfan Khan used to spell his name like this only. Later on he added an extra "r" to his name and changed it into Irrfan Khan. 

  

When I first saw this film I did not like it at all. Marc Robinson could not act properly. His acting basically spoiled the film. Tara Deshpande was too stiff and failed miserably in the emotional scenes. Though Shabana Azmi gave a stellar performance. Alok Nath was good. Abhay Chopra was very good. The young boy Sanjay Pathak was good too. The feel of the songs did not go well with the general feel of the film. The storyline was indeed different from other mainstream Bollywood films of that time. I personally feel that it would have been nicer if Anjan Dutta himself was the music director of this film. And I also did not like the name BADA DIN. I think the film should have been called MERRY CHRISTMAS because of the last scene.    

Marc Robinson was playing the character of David Dawson who was an Anglo Indian singer and musician. Shabana Azmi played the character of Lilian who was also an Anglo Indian and she was David's landlady. Over all these years Anjan Dutta has said in many interviews that he loves making films about the marginalised communities of Calcutta.  

In 1998 Anjan Dutta launched his sixth solo music album called CHOLO BODLAY. This album had a song called DUSHTU GAAN which literally means a naughty song. This song is about a film producer forcing the director of the film to insert a naughty song in the film just to titillate a certain section of the audience. Interestingly in the film BADA DIN too there was a titillating cabaret song called "Behoshi Tan Man Mein". 

    

This film was shot mainly in Calcutta. Recently I again watched this film on Youtube after 23 years. I loved seeing the old Calcutta in the film. Loved seeing the yellow and black taxis. 

        

Loved seeing fishes being sold in round glass jars in front of Shreeram Arcade. 

Loved seeing India's Hobby Centre in the background. 

Loved seeing the South Park Street Cemetery. 

Loved seeing the old trams. 

Loved seeing the now closed Blue Fox restaurant in Park Street. 

Loved seeing Marc Robinson drinking Old Monk rum. 

Loved seeing Tara Deshpande reading Isaac Asimov's novel THE ROBOTS OF DAWN. 

Loved seeing pigeons flying. 

Loved seeing that the lobster festival was going on at Moulin Rouge at that time. 

Loved seeing the Maidan with the Tata Centre building in the background. 

Loved seeing the bridge at Rabindra Sarobar lake. 

Marc Robinson while playing football with the local kids accidently breaks the glass pane of the main door of the house where he stays as a tenant. 

Then around the middle of the film the glass door appears again in one scene. 

And finally in the end the film closes with the young boy named Raka closing the glass door. 

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Suman Sengupta

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I met Suman Sengupta for the first time in the year 2009. We were part of Bratya Basu's theatre group called BRATYOJON. We were staging the play RUDDHASANGEET at that time. The play was a huge success and every where we went with it, all our shows were performed in front of full houses. We performed at most of the theatre halls in Calcutta. Also went to other places in Bengal to perform. We also went to Bhopal and New Delhi. In Bhopal we performed at the Rang Mahotsav Festival and in New Delhi we performed at the National School of Drama.

Then after some time Suman left the group. I also left the group eventually. We went in different directions but our friendship remained intact. We kept in touch over phone and kept on meeting each other from time to time. Our favourite hang out street was obviously Park Street. We used to meet up at Music World, Olypub, Trincas, Some-Place-Else etc. We also used to meet at Nandan during the Calcutta Film Festival every year. He was a big movie buff. He used to watch as many films as possible. We used to discuss about movies all the time. Not only Indian films, we both used to watch a lot of international cinema also.  

On 31st December 2015 I went to his house in Salt Lake for the New Year Party. It was a nice house party organised by him. The food was tasty and there was no shortage of alcohol. We partied till around 3 a.m. Then from his house some of us went to another friend's house which was nearby to have tequila shots. We came back to Suman's house after more than an hour. That night I did not come back to my home and I slept in Suman's house. The next morning I met his dog. The dog really liked me a lot and I played with the dog on the terrace. Then me and Suman had a lovely breakfast and adda. 

Once I took Suman to the Royal Calcutta Turf Club. It was his first time at RCTC. Another friend also joined us there. Suman always wanted to see live horse racing but never had the opportunity. He was really thrilled to be there. He also put some bets on the horses and also made a small profit. It was a lovely day at the races.

A few years back he started working at an event management company. His office was inside Karnani Mansion at Park Street. I used to visit him regularly. After office hours we used to meet up regularly at the bars and pubs in Park Street. Sometimes I used to go to Apeejay House for my own office work. Then I would tell him in advance that I was going there and then we would meet for lunch.

During Durga Puja 2018, on Saptami I went to Suman's house with another friend. From there we went to the newly opened Jaisalmer restaurant at Sector Five in Salt Lake. We had a yummilicious lunch there. After lunch we went for pandal hopping. We went to all the major puja pandals in Salt Lake including FD Block. That year FD Block had a Jurassic Park themed pandal. It was amazing.

Today afternoon a friend called me twice. I was sleeping at that time. I woke up in the evening and called him back. He informed me that Suman has passed away in the morning. I was shocked due to this news. He told me that Suman was infected with corona virus and he was hospitalised for the last few days. But his fight with death ended today morning. I called up some of our other mutual friends and they also confirmed this news. Suman was around 42 years old. May His soul rest in peace. 

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Love In The Time Of Corona

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This is an imaginary story. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 

It was 2020. The chinese communist corona virus was on its world trip. India was also in its itinerary. This virus was really going places. This globe trotting virus was starting to behave like a deadlier pandemic than KR and KRK put together. Then on 24th March around 8 p.m. Modi suddenly announced the lockdown with just four hours notice. The lockdown in India became effective from midnight.

Rahul had a hunch that the lockdown would last for atleast three months. So he decided to shave off his head because he had to stay inside his house for the next three months and at the end of it he would have a new set of hair. In these three months the only thing that kept him sane was his internet connection. He kept himself busy with Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hoichoi, Addatimes, Mubi, Zee5 and Hotstar. There were also Facebook, Instagram and Youtube to keep him busy. Lastly there were some pornographic sites which also kept him busy at night.

Rahul first met Roopmanya on Facebook. He saw her profile in someone else's friend list and immediately sent her a friend request. After a few days she accepted his request. After the usual courtesies they became good friends and he started calling her Roop. Then instead of flirting with her he started playing Ludo with her almost everyday on Facebook. Somedays he would win, somedays she would win but on most days he would deliberately let her win just to make her happy. Rahul firmly believes in Shah Rukh Khan's dialogue, "Haar ke jitne walon ko Bazigaar kehte hai".

Apart from playing Ludo, Rahul and Roop used to discuss about "Money Heist". His favourite character was Professor and her favourite character was Nairobi. They also would discuss about "Dark" though both of them had no idea about what actually was happening in this web series. Maybe the makers also did not have any idea about what they were trying to make. Rahul told Roop to watch "Crisis In Six Scenes". He is a huge Woody Allen fan. Roop watched this web series and liked it immensely. She was also a fan of Woody Allen since her school days.

Doordarshan started re-telecasting its old shows like Ramayan, Mahabharat, Shaktiman, Shreeman Shreemati, Byomkesh Bakshi, Chanakya, Buniyad, Dekh Bhai Dekh etc. It was so nice and nostalgic to re-watch these late-eighties and nineties shows on TV all over again. This helped both Rahul and Roop to relive their childhood memories. As a child they both used to watch a lot of serials on DD-1 and DD-2. For a brief period there was another channel called DD-3 too. But that channel did not last long. In the late nineties Rahul and Roop got cable TV connections in their respective homes. They discussed among themselves and came to the conclusion that both of them liked the musical countdown show Superhit Muqabla the most. And Baba Sehgal was obviously their most favourite TV host. 

Anyways throughout the lockdown Rahul and Roop talked to each other almost every day over phone. They started sharing non veg jokes and memes over Whatsapp. She also made Dalgona coffee a couple of times at her home. Rahul thought of making it a couple of times but then he was too lazy to actually make it. On one hand people were dying due to corona in the world and on the other hand the saree challenge was going on at full speed for ladies in Facebook. Roop uploaded her saree pictures and she looked very beautiful in them. Rahul jokingly asked for her nudes which obviously she did not send. Sometimes they would chat over phone throughout the night and then go to sleep in the morning. They gradually fell in love with each other with each passing day and night. They sometimes would video call each other and talk for hours. Finally one night he officially proposed to her and after a few giggles she officially accepted him as her boyfriend. 

Super Cyclone Amphan hit Calcutta on 20th May 2020. Throughout the day it was cloudy and windy. The cyclone came around late evening. Rahul watched it with a cup of coffee sitting on his balcony while smoking cigarettes. The electricity went out during the cyclone. Thankfully he had fully charged his two mobile phones. He lit a candle in his room. A neighbourhood aunty was blowing conch shells continuously. Some people still believe that blowing conch shells will stop upcoming storms. Anyways this was the strongest cyclone that he has ever seen in his life. It was really scary. He composed three poems that day in the afternoon. He sent those poems to Roop and she really liked them.

Once the lockdown ended then normal life resumed for both of them. They both joined back their respective offices in the first week of June. Now they decided to meet in person. On 13th June 2020 Rahul and Roop met for the first time at Park Street. It was a Saturday afternoon. Since it was their first meeting therefore Rahul bought a dozen red roses for her. They met in front of Peter Cat and went inside straightaway. There was no waiting period. There was no queue in front of Peter Cat. The restaurant was almost empty. Only a few tables were occupied. Rahul ordered Chelo Kebab and Roop ordered a Chicken Sizzler. It was so nice to come to Park Street after almost three months of lockdown and eat these delicious food.

From Peter Cat, Rahul and Roop went to the Oxford Bookstore. It was also quite empty. They browsed through the books for some time. Then they went upstairs to the Cha Bar and both drank iced tea there. Before leaving the place Rahul bought "Tutti Frutti On Park Street" by Sayantani Gupta Jafa. He only bought this book because Park Street was mentioned on the title. Roop bought the short story collection by Hector Hugh Munro alias Saki. 

After leaving Oxford Bookstore, they decided to go for a walk. They walked till Park Street Police Station, crossed the road and then walked back towards Flurys. Rahul decided to hold her hand in this walk and she also let him hold it. A lot of poor children beg on Park Street. Rahul never gives money to adult beggars but he can never say no to children. So as they were walking, a lot of these poor children surrounded them and kept on asking for money. Rahul gave them each a ten rupee note and these children were very happy. It was so nice to see sweet smiles on their little faces. The weather was nice and a cool breeze was blowing too.

Some fallen and chopped trees were still lying on the footpath even after so many days of Cyclone Amphan. In some places some wires were also tangled up on the road side. And on some places the footpath was in very bad condition. Park Street looked like it needed a makeover very badly. But still Rahul and Roop loved Park Street very much.

After the walk, Rahul and Roop went to Starbucks for some coffee. They wanted to go to Hard Rock Cafe but that place was still closed. At Starbucks they had a lovely adda. From Starbucks he took an Uber and dropped her home and then he came back home in the same Uber. From 8 p.m. he saw Anjan Dutta and Neel Dutta's concert on Zoom app which was organized by a event group named "Carpe Diem". The father-son duo performed from their home. Rahul had to buy a ticket worth 200 rupees to watch their performance. This was the first time that Anjan Dutta and his son performed for a virtual concert over the Zoom app. Unfortunately the sound quality was very bad. But since Rahul is a huge admirer of Anjan Dutta therefore it was just nice to see him and hear his songs even when the audio quality was not that good. Rahul has been a big fan of Anjan Dutta ever since he heard his first album "Shuntey Ki Chao" in the mid nineties. In those days Rahul used to buy all his audio cassettes from the shop named "Melody" at Rashbehari Avenue. Sometimes he used to buy from "Symphony" at Esplanade also. He used to listen to Anjan Dutta's albums on continuous loops. Now Anjan Dutta is almost 67 years old but still he is singing like he used to sing in the nineties. He is an amazing and a very talented human being. Rahul just loves him a lot.

The next Saturday, that was 20th June, Rahul and Roop again met at Park Street. This time they went to Mocambo for lunch. They both ordered the Irish Chateaubriand Beef Steak. It was yummilicious. After lunch they again went for a walk hand in hand. They were again surrounded by those poor children. Rahul again gave each of them a ten rupee note. After the walk Rahul and Roop went to Flurys to have coffee. It was so nice to sit near the big windows and see the passing cars and people. From Flurys they went inside Park Hotel to use the restroom there. Only "The Street Cafe" was open at Park Hotel. Tantra, Roxy, Aqua and Some-Place-Else were all closed.

The next day, that was 21st June, Roop came over to Rahul's house for lunch. After lunch they started kissing each other madly and made love for almost an hour. They both were truly, madly, deeply, hopelessly and helplessly in love with each other. In the evening she made coffee for him at his kitchen. After coffee they indulged in another round of love making and then went out for dinner at South City Mall. 

Rahul and Roop started meeting each other almost three to four times a week. They spent their weekends together. On the weekdays they would meet after their office hours. On weekends she would come over to his place. On 26th July, Roop came to Rahul's place for lunch. After lunch and after their initial round of smooching and love making, they watched the film "Dil Bechara" on Hotstar. After watching the film there were tears in both of their eyes. The film was a very sensitive film and it was really heart touching. Sushant Singh Rajput and Sanjana Sanghi acted really well. But the x-factor of the film was the chemistry between Saswata Chatterjee and Swastika Mukherjee. 

On Rahul's birthday, that was 12th August, both of them took a day off from their offices. She came to his house around 1 p.m. She bought a Titan watch for him as a birthday gift. She also brought a specially hand made birthday card for him. After lunch they made love to each other and then went to "Lord Of The Drinks" at South City Mall. From there they took an Uber and went to Park Street. The poor little children again surrounded them. Since it was his birthday therefore he bought Chicken Rolls for all of them from Kusum's and also bought colouring books and crayons for all of them from the footpath hawkers. After this Rahul and Roop walked hand in hand at Park Street and then went to Papaya restaurant for dinner. Rahul loves this restaurant very much, especially the view from the balcony and from its windows.

In September Some-Place-Else, Roxy, Aqua and Tantra started opening one by one. Rahul and Roop went to all these places together. Throughout September, October and November Rahul and Roop went to many rooftop restaurants like Altair Capella, Club Fenicia, Liqua, 3132, Glook, Skai Lounge, La Letizia, Cafe Offbeat, Soul, Afraa Lounge at City Centre One, Fairfield by Marriott, Wykiki at Swissotel, Aura Skybar etc. They also went to the new Coffee House at New Town. Once they went for coffee at the Darjeeling Lounge at ITC Royal Bengal. Another time they went for lunch at Cal 27 at Taj Bengal. When Hard Rock Cafe finally opened in October then they went there too. They also went to this faraway place called the Malt Louge at Rajarhat. It was really too far. Another time they went to The Grid, Echoes, Traffic Gastropub, Pub 13, Wafira and also to The Irish House. Another evening they went for coffee at Cafe 363 at The Oberoi Grand Hotel. On another Sunday they went to the newly opened Canteen Pub & Grub. Rahul and Roop also went to see Arko Mukherjee's performance at Five Mad Men. They were madly in love with each other and they were painting the whole town red.

During Durga Puja they went to Fort Radisson on Saptami. First they had a couple of drinks at the Footloose Bar and then they had a buffet lunch at the restaurant on the first floor of Radisson. The food was really tasty and the mutton was simply divine. In the evening they sat together at Ganga-Kutir near the river. A lovely breeze was flowing and it was so nice to stare at the flowing river. Rahul and Roop did not go for any pandal hopping this time. They also did not go to Maddox Square. Since 2002, every year Rahul has been going to Maddox Square on Ashtami evenings. Only this year he did not go there. 

Rahul and Roop decided to get married in December 2021. He met her parents and also met her cousins. Her parents really liked him. Her cousins also liked him a lot. Many couples were getting married in these horrible and terrible corona times. But Rahul and Roop decided to wait for some more time and thought that December 2021 would be the best time for marriage. Both wanted to have their wedding in winter.

Rahul and Roop decided to go to Goa from 25th December 2020 to 3rd January 2021. It was a kind of pre-marriage honeymoon for them. They reached Goa on Christmas and spent the day at Baga Beach. They stayed at a hotel near Baga Beach for a couple of days. They also went to visit Aguada and Chapora Forts. Then they went to Arambol which is in north Goa. From there they went to Palolem which is in south Goa. While going to Palolem, they stopped at the Cabo De Rama Fort. From Palolem they finally came to Panjim. They also went to the Big Daddy, Deltin Royale and Deltin Jaqk casinos at Panjim. Rahul had visited Goa in 2019 also but this was Roop's first visit. It was also her first visit to any Casino in India. Both of them gambled at the Casinos but unfortunately lost money in the process. Anyways it was really romantic to walk hand in hand on the beaches of Goa and make love in the hotel rooms at night. On 31st December 2020 they went to Lucky Ali's concert at the "Prince Of Tides Club" in Calangute Beach. The Punjabi rapper Badshah was also performing that night at the Big Daddy Casino, but Rahul and Roop chose to go to Lucky Ali's concert. It was a mind blowing and heart touching concert. Lucky Ali started the concert around 10:30 p.m. and at midnight he finished the concert with "Ek Pal Ka Jeena" from the film "Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai". At the stroke of midnight there were a lot of fireworks in the sky and Rahul and Roop hugged and smooched each other wildly, madly and passionately.

In January, February and March 2021, Rahul and Roop went to a lot of places like the Blue Tokai Coffee Shop, L.A. Bar & Kitchen, Coffee House at College Street, Craft Coffee, Trapeze, Lounge 31A, Unplugged Courtyard at the Golden Park Hotel, Soi6, Gold at JW Marriott, Burma Burma, The Blue Poppy, Cafe 42, Illish restaurant, Barista and The Square at Park Street, Artsy Cafe, Bar BQ, Oasis, Moulin Rouge, Galleria 1910, Cafe Central, Wokies, Waldorf, Sam's Pub, Roastery, Broadway, The Tea Room, Kenilworth, Ivory, Paradise restaurant, Olypub, Old Currency Building, Limelight restaurant, Aminia, 95 Degree Cafe, Kwality restaurant etc.

In January 2021, Rahul took Roop to The Royal Calcutta Turf Club to witness the Calcutta Deby races. This year a blackish horse aptly named "Black Pearl" won the Derby. This was Roop's first visit to RCTC. This was her first experience of live horse racing. She also put some bets on the horses and made a marginal profit. In January Rahul and Roop also went together to the Calcutta Film Festival and the Little Magazine Fair at Nandan. The Calcutta Film Festival which was supposed to happen in November 2020 got postponed and finally it happened in January 2021.

Roop's birthday was on 31st January. Luckily that was a Sunday. She organised for a small party at her house. Rahul went to her house for lunch. He bought a beautiful silk saree for her as her birthday gift. He also bought a black forest cake for her. After lunch they smooched for some time at her room. Then around evening guests started arriving. Most of them were her cousins and friends. It was a fun filled birthday party. The party went on till midnight.

On Valentine's Day Rahul and Roop had a lovely date at WhatsUp Cafe. But on that day they had to stand in a queue and could only enter the place after almost half an hour. They sat on the topmost deck. He also bought a dozen red roses for her. On Saraswati Puja, which is actually the Bengali Valentine's Day, Rahul and Roop first went to The Terrace at Sarat Bose Road. From there they went to the Zucca Lounge. From there they went to the 8th Day Cafe. From there they went to Zold. And finally from there they went to WhatsUp Cafe.

On 29th March 2021, Rahul and Roop went to the Holi party at JW Marriot. For only two thousand bucks plus taxes, Marriott was providing unlimited food and alcohol. It was an amazing party. The music was awesome. They went there around noon and stayed there till almost 5 p.m. The place was fully crowded and people danced to the tunes of the DJs as if there was no tomorrow. One section had the rain showers. It was so sexy to get wet together in the rain showers. After the party Rahul dropped her home and then came back to his house in the same cab. 

The second wave of this chinese communist corona virus hit India badly. Things started getting worse from April. There was also a shortage of oxygen cylinders all over the country. There was also a shortage of vaccines all over the country. Suddenly one day Roop developed a mild fever. She took a crocin tablet and the fever went away. Then the next day the fever came back. Over the next few days the fever persisted. She also lost her sense of smell and taste. She also started having aches all over her body. Her family doctor asked her to immediately take the corona test. Unfortunately the result was positive. Rahul was deeply saddened by this news. She could not meet him anymore but they talked over phone for like ten times a day. Gradually her conditioned worsened and eventually she was hospitalised. Within a few days her condition worsened tremendously. She spoke to Rahul on the morning of 10th May 2021 over phone and then suddenly expired around noon. Rahul was devastated by this news. He broke into tears. He felt like committing suicide. He felt a tremendous amount of pain on his chest. After a few days he finally composed himself and then composed this poem in her memory :  

You came into my life 

When the world was in lockdown

Our love grew by each passing day

Only you could reverse my frown 

We met for the first time

That was a sweet Saturday

I professed my love for you

What more could I say

We had our good times together

We also quarreled some time

Life really has no rhythm 

Life really has no rhyme  

The first time I held your hand

There was a shimmer in your eye 

Now that you are gone

Its so hard to say Good Bye... 

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